My Big Fat Indian Wedding!

For those of you who are wondering whats up with this blog.... to keep it short I'm about 28 and a few weeks wiser, I'm an Asian Indian, live in the States and had all hell break loose at home in India when I told my family that I didn't want to get married just yet.

The story so far.... I work for a multi-national and in the area of managing new product development projects and mostly in the area of preparing factories to introduce them and launch them successfully. At the same time my parents in India believe that with each passing day I'm not going to find a suitable Indian bride.  I sense that my marriage in India to an Indian bride is going to be more than a simple I do! Late in 2008 my parents came over to meet me and convince me that this was the best thing that could happen to me. I had been through a couple of relationships but wasn't sure that was what I wanted at the time. My parents sensed that I might find myself a non-Indian life partner or worse yet find someone Indian who would not fit in the family. Over the next few months I went through a daily barrage on the importance of marriage. But things took a turn for the worse and my Dad passed away after a brief ailment in April 09.

In Indian tradition nothing auspicious is taken up for a year after a death in the family. So a year later we are back to the same subject. As things heat up I thought it would be worth while to write about "My Big Fat Indian Wedding!"


Over the past year a number of relatives within the inner - family went about searching for potential brides. These potential women could be ones that they've seen grow up or have met at social gatherings. The next step was to broach the subject with the parents of these potential brides. You must appreciate that all this happens without even the first advertisement in the news paper or without my formal yes! At this point I am a potential candidate on the marriage market. The discussions go on about my family background, what my parents do and what I do.

Now my parents receive marriage proposals with a couple of pictures of the bride and a long bio-data of her skills, interests and most important of all her clan and their illustrious past / present. This is when I finally get asked what am I looking for in a soul mate. So thats what my previous post was all about. To say the truth, my list will put me at odds from the typical list out there - so I have been told!

So far I've been forwarded the bios and pictures of those women that have been vetted by the family. I'd like to be fair to everyone one of those pictures and bios but lets face it I can be vetoed when the time comes. I have always wanted to find myself someone before my parents had their list prepared but at the moment I'm working long hours at a manufacturing facility in mid-west US and 3 hours away from any place that has a decent social life. My social life starts on Friday evenings and is done by Sunday evening. I've tried long distance relationships but I haven't seen them work yet! Lets face it, I don't see myself flying half way across the world at the drop of the hat just because a special someone was feeling depressed / lonely.

In a few weeks I will have to travel home to India to meet the brides family and if I pass the litmus test, maybe even the potential bride. There's just one thing that comes to mind - "I'm screwed!!!" But its not just me who goes through this. My parents (now my Mom) will first meet these potential brides in places (usually at a mutual friends place) to observe her behavior and to see if she will fit into the family.

The thing about India is that a number of families still follow the tradition where the wife moves to her in-laws home since the husband stays with his family. This works out for the best since once the parents grow old the kids take care of them. Its an unwritten law. Things have changed since the late 80's - early 90's but it still works the same. The parents are a big part of the family structure and hierarchy.

Thats whats been going for a while! I'll have additions to this post as things move forward. Feel free to comment on my posts. I'll have all my related posts under the label - My big fat Indian wedding!

Cheers!